Counselling for Bereavement & Grief in Southampton

WHAT BEREAVEMENT MEANS

To lose something or someone we love is an experience we will all have in our lifetime, but even though it is universal, this doesn’t make it easier to cope with. There is nothing that can prepare us for the pain of bereavement and no experience, age or knowledge will make a difference to how it can make us feel.

Starting from childhood, we develop strong attachments to people, animals and objects that are valuable to us. This is a normal part of our development that will continue throughout adolescence and adult life. As time passes and the attachments grow stronger, they become more and more ingrained in our lives and who we are. When these attachments come to an end either expectedly or unexpectedly, we feel a sense of loss. 

The feeling of loss can be experienced as emotional suffering and pain, which is what we refer to as grief and bereavement. The term bereavement is most commonly used when we lose a loved one, however, these feelings can also arise from any sort of loss; the loss of our health, home, relationships or career. These emotions can be multi-faceted if, for example, one loss causes another. Whatever the cause of our bereavement, the emotional pain can be intense and make it difficult to see the positives in our present and future.  

THE EFFECTS OF GRIEF & BEREAVEMENT

There is no right way to experience grief, some people will cry uncontrollably and not be able to leave the house and others may enter a state of ‘auto-pilot’ deriving from the shock which enables them to carry out daily duties as if nothing is wrong. We all have different reactions and experiences to loss and employ different coping mechanisms to help us through. 

We are all familiar with the stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. However, these are not commonly linear, and will not be experienced step after step. Movement through the process of grief is messy, we often feel more than one emotion at a time with no set expectation of how long it may last for. The process is often experienced as a series of good and bad days, that gradually over time begin to turn from more bad days to more good days. 

This is a natural process that it can be helpful to talk through with a professional. However sometimes we can get stuck for an unhealthy amount of time experiencing one of the emotions and need support to overcome it.

WHAT DOES GRIEF FEEL LIKE?

Here are some of the emotions we may feel during a period of grief.

• Pain

• Depression

• Despair

• Denial

• Guilt

• Relief

• Anger

• Loss of value

• Lack of self-esteem

• Fear

• Loss of purpose

• Concerns for the future

HOW TO RECOGNISE GRIEF

As well as experiencing the common emotions associated with grief, here are some of the behaviours we may exhibit when suffering from grief.

• Sleep disturbances

• Searching or calling out 

• Appetite disturbances  

• Restlessness 

• Crying 

• Absent-mindedness 

• Social withdrawal 

• Sighing 

• Treasuring objects

COUNSELLING FOR BEREAVEMENT AND GRIEF

Counselling can be a great support to help us cope with bereavement and grief. Your counsellor will work with you to help you move forward at your own pace. You will have the opportunity to explore your thoughts and feelings in a safe, non-judgemental and confidential space. 

Sometimes grief can be so painful that we avoid thinking about it, this may appear to temporarily make us feel better but it also means we are not experiencing the emotions or stages we need to be able to process the loss and move forward. Talking with a counsellor requires you to confront the loss instead of avoiding it, helping you to accept the situation, adjust to life and relieve your grief so you can look forward to your future.

Our experienced counsellors are non-judgemental and everything you say in the sessions is completely confidential. They will use their knowledge and experience to support your process of grieving and bring you to a place where you can move past the loss and continue with the rest of your life.